Emails Say the Darndest Things

The advent of email has created a new environment for human interaction which is simultaneously more and less personal, but much less private. Above all, it is unforgiving. Once you click the "send" button, it is as irretrievable as a nickle down a sewerpipe.

Consider these actual emails which floated around my office, but probably shouldn't have. The names are changed but the text, other than being shortened, is in its full original glory.

In the first vignette, Mark (me, the customer) asks Jim and Ron (the vendors) to add special markings to their shop drawings...

>>> From Jim 12/28/2005 2:49:43 PM >>>
We cannot provide the glass mark details you requested. We cannot accept the liability of putting an incorrect glass mark on an elevation.
Jim

>>> From Mark 12/28/2005 6:25:29 PM >>>
There is no liability at all for you to put marks on your drawings per our instructions. Your other point is being perceived as uncooperative.
Mark


>>> From Ron 12/28/2005 6:47:49 PM >>>
Mark who is uncooperative??:???? We have jumped thru Hoops for you on ever project you handle, we are the only supplier who could have got you thru The Village project, and many more, Why has this become A ONE WAY STREET???? You question why we will not put YOUR marking on our drawings? Why can't you just responded to our adds? We are making every effort to make your Van Buren job a great job, and I mean EVERY EFFORT, but for some reason, you are being a fist class P----k, This cannot continue on this path, We in the past have always been FAIR to each others company, WHY THE BIG CHANGE??????
Ron

>>> From Mark 12/29/2005 8:38:01 AM >>>
I think you are overreacting. I stated my perception on this particular point. Don't go nuts on me.
Mark

Ron's boss (who was copied on all of this) called me quickly to apologize. I said, "Don't worry about it, I have done equally stupid things. If I hadn't gone ballistic on customers myself, I would have more of a right to be mad."

>>> From Ron 12/30/2005 1:28:29 PM >>>
The Best to all of you and your families and a Happy New Year, and as usual thanks for your continued business and support,
Ron

In the next interchange, Tom, the supervisor is upset with Frank, the driver.

>>> From Tom 12/14/05 4:30:03 PM >>>
Yesterday I asked you to remove the glass off the sides of the box truck. You didn't do it. You took the lazy way out and just threw a skid in the back and walked away.

Also yesterday, you delivered the panels between 9:00 - 9:30 am as asked. You left before 10:00 am and it still took you 4 hours to pick up checks. Why? After 10:00 am traffic out of the city moves pretty good so I don't understand the large quantity of time lost. I don't understand it, Frank.

Maybe I'm too lenient about things regarding you, because I like you. I don't know what to think anymore but at this point you are starting to get a tag as being
unreliable.
Tom

>>> From Frank 12/14/2005 4:40:03 PM>>>
God, this is so embarrasing, but since the office holiday party I've recently inherited a hemoroid the size of a grape. Squatting, standing, walking, sitting, and amongst all of those things the constant moving around practically destroys my will to live.

As for Yesterday when I was walking out the door Jackie waved me down to go to two extra locations. I usually drive fast, not too fast but fast enough to make sure that I'm utilizing the least ammount of time on the road as possible. But due to my recent child attached to my bottom end I've been driving alot more carefully, especially in the box truck (you know how bumpy that ride is)

As to tagging me as unreliable, I think that it's pretty premature to say that since you havn't really heard my side of any of those complaints. Yes I've been late in the morning occasionally. I really do hate that I can't get up for my alarm some days. I do everything that I can from going to bed earlier to setting two alarm clocks. I belive that since I've been working here that those occurances have gone down. I'm trying to rectify this but it doesn't work over night.
Frank

>>> From Tom 12/14/2005 5:07:42 PM >>>
Frank,
Your hemmoroid is not my problem. Get some Preparation H.

As for being labeled unreliable, I hear things you don't. I choose not to pass it on and try to go about other ways of approaching it. Also, there have been times when I have asked for things to get done and they get pushed aside. Such as busting down crates, moving materials in back, picking up the tools after you use them. 9 times out of 10 I'm picking up what you have left laying around and it's getting old.

In short, I have been way too nice about things. My New Years resolution is to be more of an a*$@hole to people to get my point across. At this point, that seems like the only way I can get my point across directly.

As for over sleeping, go to bed earlier. It's hard to hear your alarm clock at 5:00 am when you go to bed at 3:00 am. Your personal life is your issue not mine.

In short Frank, be more prompt, pick up after yourself and finish the things you start before going on to something else.
Tom

>>> From Mark 12/16/2005 10:48:03 AM >>>
Frank,
Big Brother is watching.
Make sure scheduled times are met, come hell, hemorrhoid or high water.
Mark

>>> From Tom 12/16/2005 10:50:53 AM >>>
Mark,
Thanks for the clarification on the spelling on Hemorrhoid. My spell
check just laughed at me when I asked if it was spelled correctly.
Tom

>>> From Frank 12/16/2005 11:01:31 AM >>>
Tom,
Spell it however you want. But it won't stop calling me "daddy".
Frank

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Think Like Google with AdSense

A conversation with my son Matt confirmed my suspicion. The Google AdSense ads I recently installed on my website www.poingo.com are actually giving me an insight into what the Google search engine spider cherry-picks from of my web page content.

It's not hard to imagine: AdSense ads are context sensitive. They exist as scripts on the web page. In order to be context sensitive, the script must initiate an indexing when the page is opened and refreshed.

Is there any reason to think that the indexing process performed by Google AdSense would be different from the process used by Google the search engine? None I can think of. Both indexing processes need to do the same job: extract core meaning from a page and compare it to a database.

In AdSense, the database contains paid ads waiting for a relevancy match. In search, the database holds keywords. But the meaning extracted from the web page could easily be identical.

Therefore, one might get a peek into the Google indexing algorithm by reviewing a series of web pages which display AdSense ads, and studying the ad content.

I studied the 30 or so pages on my site at www.poingo.com and checked the AdSense ads on each page for relevancy to the page content. Results were quite interesting.

The site contains a number of pages which present the features of various software or service offerings. Verbiage on these pages tends to be sparse and oriented toward key concepts.

On these product presentation pages, AdSense did a great job of extracting meaning.

For example, the page offering Poingo Email Printer, software which creates PDFs, was accompanied by AdSense ads which all pertained to PDF conversion. Text on the page was minimal, but the page title contained "create PDF", there were 3 keywords metatags containing "PDF", and the first paragraph contained "convert PDF" in bold.

From an indexing standpoint the page spoon-fed meaning to Google, and obviously there was a wellspring of PDF software advertisers for Google to find in its database. A match (or five matches to be exact) made in heaven!

Similarly, pages offering FTP software and an Outlook add-in received highly relevant companion ads. Again, words on the page were sparse, but page title and paragraph text contained the obvious words FTP and Outlook respectively, and Google AdSense took the bait.

The three pages mentioned above offered essentially single concept offerings. PDF. FTP. Outlook. No confusing multiple choices.

When analyzing the page which offers Lightning Navigator, a hotkey shortcut software with multiple features, AdSense picked one feature, screen capture, to orient 3 of the 5 the companion ads. Interestingly, screen capture is listed seventh on the list of product features. It follows six other features which were all keyword-optimized but ignored by AdSense.

From previous research, I recall that keywords pertaining to screen capture such as "print screen", "screen shot", and "screen grab" receive many more clicks per day than other features such as "automatically create email" and "internet shortcut".

Apparently in this example, AdSense was quickly able to select the key concept for which it had the most ads to apply, and then threw most of its ad eggs in this basket. The interaction between page and AdSense now becomes more interesting. Inventory of relevant advertisers becomes a factor in selecting key concept. That makes sense. You can't post an ad if it's not in the queue.

The non-screen capture ads on the Lightning Navigator page are as follows:
1 for shortcuts (highly relevant)
1 for surveillance equipment (huh??)

I have no doubt that there is a reason the surveillance equipment ad appeared, but it was not visible to me in the text of my page, the ad itself, or the page which the ad linked to. Mystery abounds on this one.

If your eyes are not bleary yet, stick around. There is more to tell.

A sizeable portion of the Poingo website is the article section. Here I publish articles about small business and people, processes and technology in the workplace.

The articles were written without use of a keyword suggestion tool. They are written in 100% non keyword optimized English. What did Adsense do with these verbose index-elusive rants?

To appear scientific - after all, somebody might actually read this - I developed a down-and-dirty rating scale. First I counted the number of relevant ads (of 5 total) per page, then I multiplied it by a subjective relevancy score scaled 1 through 5, where 5 is "frickin' good" and 1 is "obscure at best."

Therefore a page score of 25 (5 ads x relevancy score of 5) would be a top score ("AdSense, you're seeing into my very soul") and 0 would be ("We never talk anymore, You don't even know me(sniff)"). Here is the scoring:

AdSense scored an average of 10.5 out of a possible 25 on these wordy, interesting but non optimized articles. Yet in 7 articles out of 20, Google scored the coveted "frickin' good" appellation. 35% of the articles were "understood" with high accuracy.

Beyond that, there was a chasm of irreconcilable differences leading ultimately to the vacuum of deep space. What does it mean to us little folk waving our flags and trying to get noticed on the web?

Keep your message simple and clean, boiled down to one or two key concepts on a page. The spiders want to understand us but they are kinda dumb. At least that's what Matt says.

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Organizing Your Small Business

A fundamental challenge of small business can be summarized as "too many tasks, too few people."

Unlike large enterprises which can have whole teams devoted to limited tasks - think "Task force for the unification of stapler specifications and procedures" - small businesses can have one person covering anything and everything.

The time to address "who does what" in an organization is the time when the organization contemplates adding its very first employee. If you are a "one man (or woman) show" and you want to grow, now is the time to start.

Organizing small business starts with an organizational chart. This chart is a thinking tool which evolves over time, so it is a good idea to use a medium which allows change, such as a spreadsheet or "paint" -type program.

To start, think about the main function areas in your company. I will make this easy for you because, guess what? Companies all need basically the same things: infrastructure, selling and performing.

Some companies may have additional main function areas such as R&D, marketing, legal, purchasing, etc. however in smaller businesses, these would probably be tasks or subsets of main areas such as selling or infrastructure.

When building your chart, list the main function areas. Under each, list the tasks which need to be performed.

Example: Infrastructure tasks might incude: manage office space, manage budget, pay bills, invoicing, collections, insurance, payroll, office supplies, computer equipment, network administration, etc.

The first time you start listing tasks, be prepared to feel overwhelmed. You may be shocked at the sheer number of tasks which need to be done in order to keep a business afloat. Fear not, your chart will be your friend. As you continue to look at your organization and its tasks, you will begin to germinate ideas about how to do them better.

Organize and group tasks in ways which make sense to you. You might, for instance, order tasks chronologically, or by similarity, or by shared resources. This brings me to the next step: listing resources.

A resource helps get the task done. Your outside accountant might be a resource for a list of tasks. Someone within the company might be a resource for certain tasks. If you like thinking this way, you might even list non-people resources such as links to websites, paths to files, phone and account numbers of vendors, etc.

If you go this far, you are moving in the direction of creating a resource guide, which is but a stepping stone away from a procedure manual. These tools also promote orderly growth, but are topics in their own right.

The last step in creating your organizational chart is to assign responsible parties to each main area and each task.

Now stand back and look. Does it make sense? Is it orderly? Are people positioned for efficiency and for the best use of their skills? Would outsourcing certain tasks be beneficial?

Use the chart to explore such questions, both with your employees as well as your outside resources. Every six months update your chart and reissue it to your team. This will raise good questions, clarify others, and convey to all the correct impression that your company is positioned to grow.

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